This is a little vent about the horse world and my narrow presence in it.
I'm sick. I'm irritated and sick of people. They can all go to hell for all I care.
I've been working with some horses at our barn, teaching them manners, helping out with the cleaning up of the aisles, helping kids and giving advice, and somehow, somewhere, it blew up in my face.
I asked the owner today if I could go out riding together with a friend of mine. Rent two horses and have a nice afternoon. He denied me. He told me I couldn't go alone. I've been riding for five years there now, and seven years total, including the other stable I was at. I am now sixteen.
Apparently, I am one, too young to go out alone, despite having my A-certificate. According to his condescending tone, I assume I am not worth riding his horses, even if I pay for them.
I have helped him for five fucking years.
Now it all makes sense that I could go out when I was together with my cousin - he likes her far better and she has a lease. She was the experienced one in his opinion. That's why I could go. Now, last summer I went riding with my cousin again, but with a horse shoved at me that I really didn't like. He shoves you, is unrespectful, you fill in the blanks. Now, at some point in the ride I got off, because I didn't feel safe. I had enough. I decided to walk him back, but once again, he started pulling and being over 17 hands high, ripped it clean out of my hands. He went back home immediately afterwards, and the owner had a talk with someone else. He didn't care about my explanation. He called me a chicken and then said "that was a joke".
That's what I heard all throughout kindergarten and middle school. It's a joke.
Now I understand.
I was played all along.
Times like these I almost feel like giving up on riding,